A Funereal of Hearts
by SerenNoir
Summary: Matter over heart. Who would have thought it would turn out this way? NarutoXDeidara


**A Funeral of Hearts**

**Author: shutupandsing**

**Rating: M**

**WARNING: Spoilers for those who aren't caught up in the manga and don't know of ahem…read on.**

**Comments: After reading up on Deidara's somewhat ironic demise, I decided to write my own spin-off where instead of our favorite explosives expert escaping, Naruto and the gang capture him and take him back to Konoha. Told from Naruto's POV. **

**Mood Song: Poison by Alice Cooper**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and if I did, I doubt it would be as popular as it is under Kishimoto's watchful eye.**

**--**

If you were looking for a sappy romance where everything ends happily and they drive off into the sunset in a horse-drawn carriage, I hate to disappoint you, but you've come to the wrong place.

This is my story; where one's loyalty to one's people holds far greater importance than a chanced-upon love.

Matter over heart: who would have thought it would turn out this way?

--

I think it was his eye that first drew me in. Which didn't make any sense seeing as I saw the same eyes each time I stared at my reflection in a mirror. But the blue of his irises seemed darker, like murky, dirty water.

They had seen far too much than they should have and his hands were beyond clean. Even though he succeeded in killing one of my closest friends (who was now alive and well, albeit demon-less), I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him.

I knew immediately when I first saw him lying in his cell, his blond hair matted with dirt and dried blood. There was no awkward, nervous, side-stepping '_Oh dear god, I'm in love with a guy'_ sort of epiphany. It was more like a point-blank, slap-in-the-face kind of revelation that I accepted without second thought. It was what it was and nothing would be able to change that. Like they always said, love knows no boundaries.

--

"Where's the lazy one that usually watches me? Shikamaru, I think his name was, un?"

He eyes me through the bars from his position on the stone floor, idly twisting a piece of the dirty fringe that hung over his eye. I sit backwards in my chair, leaning it over to rest on two legs. My chin is propped on the chair's back, my hands tapping out a steady rhythm on the underside of my seat.

"He was sent away on a mission; I was sent here to relieve him."

My reply is slow and lazy, a long time in coming. I say it with such apathy that it seems to anger him a bit. He rises to a sitting position, scooting the closest he can to the bars and facing me.

"Hurry and get your questions over with, I would really like to go back to sleep."

"What is your leader's name?" I deadpan, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Sir Leader-sama, un," he says without a moment's hesitation, a slight smirk playing on his features.

"Where is your headquarters located?"

"A place…with stuff."

I could quickly tell I was getting nowhere fast. Knocking my chair to the floor, I stalk over to his cell, getting a fistful of his clothes and yanking him up to eye level. "Miserable bastard," I mutter, before closing the distance between us.

Briefly, I saw his eye widen in surprise right before my own slipped close and my lips were pressed against his warm, yet chapped ones. I notice that the shirt that was clutched in my hands was filthy and caked with mud.

The following day I pulled some weight and got him moved to a cleaner cell and the promise of unlimited shower breaks. Something about he might be more willing to give information if we treated him respectfully.

--

It's only been a week and so far, in that short amount of time, I've gotten to know Deidara much better. I didn't even fear the possibility of him killing me anymore. We were lying on our backs on the floor of his cell, my head to his.

"You need to start talking or else they're going to kill you," I murmur, blowing his ponytail out of my face.

I hear him scoff, his hand reaching up to run his nails against my scalp. "Aw, I'm flattered you care, un," he replied sarcastically.

I grit my teeth silently; he gets under my skin sometimes. "Are you ever going to start talking!?" I yell impatiently.

"Are you ever going to tell them about us, un?"

My mind was stuck contemplating his usage of 'us' that I almost missed the question. "No."

"Well then, no, un. You would do anything for your village, right Naruto? Well, I would do anything for my family, I think you can understand that?"

Family? I guess, in a way, he considered them to be his family. One big, happy, homicidal family. At a loss for what to do or say next, I flipped over to where I was straddling him and softly kissed his lips.

"I want to go take a shower, un," Deidara muttered against my mouth.

"What?! But you took a shower last night!"

He pouted and I knew what was coming next. "But my hair, it feels gross, un!"

I huffed impatiently and slid off, pulling him to his feet as well. "Come on, you woman," I demand, unlocking the cell door to lead him to the showers down the hall.

Sometimes, he really got under my skin. Problem was, I didn't seem to mind all that much.

--

"Could you pass me the shampoo, un?"

Without looking, I thrust the bottle into the stall, desperately trying to forget that there was a very naked attractive male not three feet from me. The heady scent of citrus filled the air, causing more damage to my already frayed senses.

We hadn't gone much farther than heavy kissing and occasional petting but being the 16-year old male I was, my libido was working in overdrive and I wanted, no _needed_, the body of the older man in the shower in front of me.

Vaguely wondering why there wasn't a voice in the back of my head telling me it was wrong to fall in love with an S-Class missing nin, I shoved aside the flimsy tan shower curtain and stepped in, fully clothed, under the warm jets of water coming out from the fixtures.

Deidara emitted an quick squeak and moved to cover himself with his hands. The damage was already done, I had saw him and wanted him. And now, he was about to find out, firsthand, what happens, when I want him.

Shoving him into the tile wall, I kissed him roughly on the mouth, my tongue slipping in to make my dominance known. A quick fumble of a zipper and cloth and I was inside him, his lithe legs wrapped tightly around my waist.

His head lolled to the side, eyes fixing me with a lusty gaze. So he was a lover of pain. Sick masochist. He was going to be sorely disappointed soon enough. I had no intentions of causing him pain.

He never came out and said that he loved me during our time together but I knew. I could tell by the way his shackled hands snaked around my neck, his blunt nails digging red half-moons into my wet skin; the way his breathing came in short, hard gasps; his mouth, every once in a while, finding my own.

Chaste little kisses, the kind that one gives when one's embarrassed and they want to admit something but they don't know how.

I pause when I feel my seed spill into him, my head hanging to stare at the drain, the hot water rushing past it. "I love you," I murmur, not realizing what I had said till it was too late.

His reply was to wrap his legs tighter around me and bury his head in the crook of my shoulder.

--

We were lying on his floor again, head to head once more, his fingers intertwined with mine. "I'm afraid to die, un."

I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue.

"It's not the dying part that scares me, or even death itself, un. It's the fact that once I'm gone I can't come back and see people's reactions when they hear the news. I can't see if anyone truly cared for me."

I keep silent and I feel him curl into the fetal position, hugging his knees to his chest. I was afraid to go as well. But it was the dying part that got me.

"I don't want to die, un."

--

"If I wasn't shackled, I would strangle you, un!" _If I wasn't shackled, I would hold you close to me._

The walk down the dark hallway seems longer than it should have. It was happening, what I had feared. They weren't getting any information of Deidara, no way, no how.

"I'm going to gouge your eyes out, un!" _I'm going to kiss you till you can't breathe._

The ANBU gathered around us push him forwards and he stumbles. I almost lurch forward to steady him but quickly fall back into place, crisis diverted.

"I fucking hate you, un!"_ I fucking love you._

Despite myself, I smile at him. I can't help but think it's a blessing that I'm the only one who can hear the double meaning in his words.

--

They have him strapped to the chair, a random nurse tying off a tourniquet on his arm. Across the room, another nurse readies the syringe that will serve as Konoha's trump card.

Not truly caring anymore, I climb onto his lap, straddling his waist. If anyone asks I'll say I was restraining him. I rest my forehead against his as his face contorts into a pleasurable grimace of pain as the needle is inserted into his vein.

Ten seconds is all it takes to enter the bloodstream, instantaneous death. I read up on it a couple days ago. At least it won't hurt, but knowing Deidara, he would probably much rather prefer pain.

"Time for you to die, you miserable bastard," I deadpan, my eyes saying all that I need for me. He understands and stares back.

"Cry over me, un," he says with a malicious grin, right before his brilliant blue eye is covered in a mist and rolls back into his head.

--

Walking out of the prison, my eyes are drawn skyward just in time to see a beautiful white bird fly off from its perch.

Shizune approaches me, breaking me from my stupor. "The Hokage has a mission for you," her soft voice informs me and I follow her back to the Hokage tower, my mind surprisingly calm.

'_Deidara, my tears are going to have to wait because you see, I don't have the time. I still have a village I have to protect. I think you can understand that…'_

_--_

**Author's Note: Dark and depressing one-shot I jotted down on scraps of paper while babysitting 3 and 4-year olds. Children make me emo.**


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